Trevor WholohanWeekend Funny's
October 20th 2007 00:49
We all know that Moms love to dress up their kids. But when Dad is a graphic designer, anything is possible..
It all started out with the innocent baby picture below...
THAT FIRST KISS
At the end of their first date, a young man takes his favorite girl home.
Emboldened by the night, he decides to try for that important first kiss.
With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and,
smiling, he says to her, "Darling, how 'bout a goodnight kiss?"
Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on, there's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
"No way. It's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I like you so much!!"
"No, no, and no. I like you too, but I just can't!"
Oh yes you can.
Please?" "NO, no. I just can't."
"Pleeeeease?..."
Out of the blue, the porch light goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled. In a sleepy voice the sister says:
"Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it.
But for crying out loud tell him to take his hand off the intercom button!"
The Mole Family
A papa mole, a mama mole, and a baby mole all live together in a little mole hole.
One day, papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and said,
"Yum! I smell maple syrup!"
The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole,sniffs the air and said,
"Oh, Yum! I smell honey!"
Now baby mole is trying to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can't
Because the bigger moles are in the way. This makes him whine,
"Geez, all I can smell is....
Molasses
Kindergardners
A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become
accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was
that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk!
"You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding
them.
She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend.
"I went to visit my Nana."
"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use Big People' words!"
She then asked Mitchell what he had done.
"I took a ride on a choo choo."
She said "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use
"Big People' words."
She then asked little Zach what he had done.
"I read a book," he replied.
"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"
[I love this]
Zach thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with
great pride, and said,
" Winnie the SHIT
Ladies walk into a bar...
Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua . As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman said to her friend, "Let's go over to that bar for a drink."
The lady with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."
The one with the Doberman said, "Just watch, and do as I do."
They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.
The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."
The woman with the Doberman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
The bouncer said, "A Doberman ?"
The woman said, "Yes, they're using them now.
They're very good."
The bouncer said, "OK, come on in."
The lady with the Chihuahua thought that convincing him that a Chihuahua was a seeing-eye dog may be a bit more difficult, but thought, "What the heck," so she put on her dark glasses and started to walk in.
Once again the bouncer said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."
The woman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
The bouncer said, "A Chihuahua?"
The woman with the Chihuahua said,
"A Chihuahua? They gave me a f____ Chihuahua ?"
Thought for the Day
Handle every situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or smell it. Piss on it and walk away.
It all started out with the innocent baby picture below...
THAT FIRST KISS
At the end of their first date, a young man takes his favorite girl home.
Emboldened by the night, he decides to try for that important first kiss.
With an air of confidence, he leans with his hand against the wall and,
smiling, he says to her, "Darling, how 'bout a goodnight kiss?"
Horrified, she replies, "Are you mad? My parents will see us!"
"Oh come on! Who's gonna see us at this hour?"
"No, please. Can you imagine if we get caught?"
"Oh come on, there's nobody around, they're all sleeping!"
"No way. It's just too risky!"
"Oh please, please, I like you so much!!"
"No, no, and no. I like you too, but I just can't!"
Oh yes you can.
Please?" "NO, no. I just can't."
"Pleeeeease?..."
Out of the blue, the porch light goes on, and the girl's sister shows up in her pajamas, hair disheveled. In a sleepy voice the sister says:
"Dad says to go ahead and give him a kiss. Or I can do it. Or if need be, he'll come down himself and do it.
But for crying out loud tell him to take his hand off the intercom button!"
The Mole Family
A papa mole, a mama mole, and a baby mole all live together in a little mole hole.
One day, papa mole sticks his head out of the hole, sniffs the air and said,
"Yum! I smell maple syrup!"
The mama mole sticks her head out of the hole,sniffs the air and said,
"Oh, Yum! I smell honey!"
Now baby mole is trying to stick his head out of the hole to sniff the air, but can't
Because the bigger moles are in the way. This makes him whine,
"Geez, all I can smell is....
Molasses
Kindergardners
A group of kindergartners were trying very hard to become
accustomed to the first grade. The biggest hurdle they faced was
that the teacher insisted on NO baby talk!
"You need to use 'Big People' words," she was always reminding
them.
She asked Chris what he had done over the weekend.
"I went to visit my Nana."
"No, you went to visit your GRANDMOTHER. Use Big People' words!"
She then asked Mitchell what he had done.
"I took a ride on a choo choo."
She said "No, you took a ride on a TRAIN. You must remember to use
"Big People' words."
She then asked little Zach what he had done.
"I read a book," he replied.
"That's WONDERFUL!" the teacher said. "What book did you read?"
[I love this]
Zach thought real hard about it, then puffed out his chest with
great pride, and said,
" Winnie the SHIT
Ladies walk into a bar...
Two women were out for a Saturday stroll. One had a Doberman and the other, a Chihuahua . As they walked down the street, the one with the Doberman said to her friend, "Let's go over to that bar for a drink."
The lady with the Chihuahua said, "We can't go in there. We've got dogs with us."
The one with the Doberman said, "Just watch, and do as I do."
They walked over to the bar and the one with the Doberman put on a pair of dark glasses and started to walk in.
The bouncer at the door said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."
The woman with the Doberman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
The bouncer said, "A Doberman ?"
The woman said, "Yes, they're using them now.
They're very good."
The bouncer said, "OK, come on in."
The lady with the Chihuahua thought that convincing him that a Chihuahua was a seeing-eye dog may be a bit more difficult, but thought, "What the heck," so she put on her dark glasses and started to walk in.
Once again the bouncer said, "Sorry, lady, no pets allowed."
The woman said, "You don't understand. This is my seeing-eye dog."
The bouncer said, "A Chihuahua?"
The woman with the Chihuahua said,
"A Chihuahua? They gave me a f____ Chihuahua ?"
Thought for the Day
Handle every situation like a dog. If you can't eat it or smell it. Piss on it and walk away.
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