Trevor WholohanWeekend Funnys
January 13th 2007 02:37
For more info go to www.treasuretrooper.com/126704
For more info go to www.Supermantag.org or www.christopherreeve.org
Chinese Proverbs
Virginity like bubble - one prick all gone
Man who run in front of car get tired
Man who run behind car get exhausted
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok
Man with one chopstick go hungry
Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money
Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk
Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth
War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night
It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it
Man who drive like hell bound to get there
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot
Man who lives in glass house should change clothes in basement
Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs
Man who farts in church sits in own pew
Crowded elevator smells different to midget
Proof That The World Is Nuts
In Lebanon , men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
In Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. (Do they look different reversed?)
Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers.
The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick?)
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.(Much worse than "going blind!")
There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside And deflower young virgins, who pay Them for the privilege of having sex For the first time Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.(Let's just think for a minute; is there Any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)
In Hong Kong , a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.(Ah! Justice!)
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool , England - but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)
In Cali , Colombia , a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
In Santa Cruz , Bolivia , it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)
In Maryland , it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises." (Is this a great country or what? Well, not as great as Guam !)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.(Who volunteers for this stuff?)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and Always falls over on its right side When intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of???)(Did the government pay For this research??)
Butterflies taste with their feet.(Ah, geez.)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)
Starfish don't have brains.(I know some people like that, too.)
And, the best for last?Turtles can breathe through their butts. (And I thought I had bad Breath in the morning!)
For more info go to www.Supermantag.org or www.christopherreeve.org
Chinese Proverbs
Virginity like bubble - one prick all gone
Man who run in front of car get tired
Man who run behind car get exhausted
Man with hand in pocket feel cocky all day
Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ
Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok
Man with one chopstick go hungry
Man who scratches ass should not bite fingernails
Man who eat many prunes get good run for money
Baseball is wrong, man with four balls cannot walk
Panties not best thing on earth but next to best thing on earth
War doesn't determine who is right, war determines who is left
Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house
Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night
It take many nails to build crib but one screw to fill it
Man who drive like hell bound to get there
Man who stand on toilet is high on pot
Man who fishes in other man's well often catches crabs
Man who farts in church sits in own pew
Crowded elevator smells different to midget
Proof That The World Is Nuts
In Lebanon , men are legally allowed to have sex with animals, but the animals must be female. Having sexual relations with a male animal is punishable by death.
In Bahrain , a male doctor may legally examine a woman's genitals, but is prohibited from looking directly at them during the examination. He may only see their reflection in a mirror. (Do they look different reversed?)
Muslims are banned from looking at the genitals of a corpse. This also applies to undertakers.
The sex organs of the deceased must be covered with a brick or piece of wood at all times. (A brick?)
The penalty for masturbation in Indonesia is decapitation.(Much worse than "going blind!")
There are men in Guam whose full-time job is to travel the countryside And deflower young virgins, who pay Them for the privilege of having sex For the first time Reason: under Guam law, it is expressly forbidden for virgins to marry.(Let's just think for a minute; is there Any job anywhere else in the world that even comes close to this?)
In Hong Kong , a betrayed wife is legally allowed to kill her adulterous husband, but may only do so with her bare hands. The husband's illicit lover, on the other hand, may be killed in any manner desired.(Ah! Justice!)
Topless saleswomen are legal in Liverpool , England - but only in tropical fish stores. (But of course!)
In Cali , Colombia , a woman may only have sex with her husband, and the first time this happens, her mother must be in the room to witness the act.(Makes one shudder at the thought.)
In Santa Cruz , Bolivia , it is illegal for a man to have sex with a woman and her daughter at the same time.(I presume this was a big enough problem that they had to pass this law?)
In Maryland , it is illegal to sell condoms from vending machines with one exception: Prophylactics may be dispensed from a vending machine only "in places where alcoholic beverages are sold for consumption on the premises." (Is this a great country or what? Well, not as great as Guam !)
Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.(Who volunteers for this stuff?)
Humans and dolphins are the only species that have sex for pleasure.(Is that why Flipper was always smiling?)
The ant can lift 50 times its own weight, can pull 30 times its own weight and Always falls over on its right side When intoxicated. (From drinking little bottles of???)(Did the government pay For this research??)
Butterflies taste with their feet.(Ah, geez.)
An ostrich's eye is bigger than its brain. (I know some people like that.)
Starfish don't have brains.(I know some people like that, too.)
And, the best for last?Turtles can breathe through their butts. (And I thought I had bad Breath in the morning!)
| 46 |
| Vote |
subscribe to this blog
