Trevor WholohanWeekend Funnys
December 16th 2006 02:05
Broken
On a visit to Boston, I noticed a parking meter with a paper sack over it upon which was written: "Broken." A skeptical parking officer removed the bag, inserted a quarter in the meter and turned the dial. It worked perfectly. As the officer began to write a parking ticket, the car's owner rushed out of a nearby building. "What are you doing?" he yelled after a quick glance at the meter, "There's plenty of time left!"
Caterpillers
What does a caterpillar do on New Years Day?---------Turns over a new leaf!
What is the definition of a caterpillar?-----------A worm in a fur coat!
What does a cat go to sleep on?------------A caterpillow!
What's green and dangerous?--------------A caterpillar with a machine gun!
What pillar doesn't need holding up?------A caterpillar!
How do you make milk shake? ---------------------------Give it a good scare!
What lies at the bottom of the sea and shivers?----------------A nervous wreck!
What soldiers smell of salt and pepper?-------------------Seasoned troopers!
Breaking In
A man went to the Police Station wishing to speak with the burglar who had broken into his house the night before. "You'll get your chance in court," said the Desk Sergeant. "No, no, no!" said the man. "I want to know how he got into the house without waking my wife. I've been trying to do that for years!"
Red and Blue Lights
Judi was sitting at the defendant table while the state trooper was being cross-examined on the witness stand. The lawyer asked, "When you stopped Judi, were your red and blue lights flashing?" "Yes, sir, they were." "Did the defendant say anything when she got out of her car?" "Yes, sir, she did." "And," looking at Judi, "what was it she said?" "She said, 'What disco am I at?'"
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